Hard day today. Cancer beat me. For all the strength I've felt
through this whole process I didn't have it today. I was discouraged and
annoyed. Annoyed that seeing two doctors took 7 hours, that chemo will
be longer than I anticipated, that my doctors will meet with me before
they have concrete results which just wastes our time and leaves me with
lots of questions once I have my results. I actually cancelled my other
oncologist apt until I do have my results.
At
the fertility office I felt good and like we had great options for
fertility. Then on the way home when I calculated the odds, I realized
we actually didn't have much at all, if anything. I feel like cancer is
taking away 10 years of my life and that by tonight I have to make up my
mind what I'm doing for the next 30 years. The odds are not in our
favor, if we have any at all. An emotional time for both me and Bryce.
Lots of tears.
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