Light at the end of the tunnel

Celebrating the beginning of the end tonight. Started radiation today and looking forward to being done with cancer treatments in 7 weeks! But who's counting? :) #‎32moretogo‬

Our Angel

So grateful for Aunt Diana who came to our rescue and literally was my set of hands for the week. Thank you and we love you!!

Surgery

Here's to not being able to use my arms for 2 weeks!

On the bright side, I'll be able to watch to Conference from my hospital bed, most likely in peace and quiet.  And Bryce and I went to hear Idina Menzel last night.  Great way to celebrate. :)

Last day of chemo

Celebrating our last day of chemo!! Grateful for the family and friends who made the journey something we will never forget. ‪#‎5monthsofchemo‬ ‪#‎grateful‬‪ #‎surgeryintwoweeks‬

Stronger than cancer

I wake surfed today.  Proved to my body that I am stronger than cancer.  :)  I surfed until I couldn't swim to my board anymore.  I'm definitely weaker than last summer, but still strong.  Grateful for my body.

Hope

Treatment 4 of 12 today, but who's counting?!  :)  Bryce drove up to Spokane with the kids, so Kaylee joined me today and brought me lunch. Thanks sis!

I shared my side effects with the oncologist and he reduced my dose by 10% to limit permanent side effects of the taxol. I asked if that increased my chances of recurrence later and he said that the stats provide the big picture and that dosage reductions are part of that big picture, so the percentages don't change.  My take on what he said - in the big picture stats may not change but individually they prob do. Oh well....

I saw a beautiful moment of hope today as I started my chemo treatment. A young woman who I have seen for the last few weeks was finishing her last chemo treatment. What I discovered today is that she is a mother of five and probably only a few years older then me judging by the age of her kids. Her husband and five kids were there to celebrate with her as she rang the bell on her final day of treatment. My heart filled with emotion and I felt my eyes tear up. After she left, I reflected on my emotions, surprised by reaction and the variety of feelings I was experiencing. 

• I was happy that she had such a supportive family too and that she wasn't in this battle alone. I ached for her and her family and wondered how they were holding up in this cancer battle. (My own trials don't seem so bad because I know how I'm doing, but with others you wonder how they are truly holding up).  

• I was a little saddened that I had missed out on an opportunity to make a friend with a woman who's situation was similar to mine - young breast cancer patient, young mother, same cancer, same drug treatment plan.  In my effort to sit away from other patients to provide them with some privacy and as little disturbance as possible, I felt today that I had missed a blessing in my life. This woman had thank you notes for the nurses and from the few words she spoke it was obvious she was a tender-hearted and loving woman.  

• Another feeling I recognized was hope. There was light at the end of the tunnel and I became excited that in 8 weeks my day would come to have my entire family in that room ringing the bell with me. 

Week 3 of 12

Only a couple of times this week I felt tingling in my thumbs. A great improvement from last week! Unfortunately on Sunday I started feeling the numbness and tingling on top of my foot and later numbness in my entire right leg. I got up out of bed to walk around to make sure I could walk without falling (my doctor asked me last week if I had fallen from the neuropathy and the question horrified me, that neuropathy could get that bad). I didn't fall and could walk normally so that was comforting.

The good news is that the numbness and tingling never last for more than a minute so it's not bothersome. Just makes me wonder what permanent damage could be happening. Stats for neuropathy with taxol are that 1/3 never feel the tingling (missed that boat), 1/3 feel it only during chemo, and for the rest of the unlucky 1/3 it lasts their entire life. Hope I'm that middle third!

 On Monday the tingling changed a bit - instead of tingling it felt more like pins and needles. I wouldn't say it was painful, but it was a change from what it had been. I had been on my feet all day packing (Yes, we're moving next week - when it rains it pours!) :) so I wondered if i just had tired feet but the pins and needles came in my fingers too, and later my mouth was feeling numb. Part of me wonders if I'm inventing all these crazy feelings in my body, just more acutely aware of my feet falling asleep because I'm paranoid, or if I'm really having side effects :).

With that said... I like to be specific in my prayers, so for all of you wonderful friends and amazing people that keep us in yours, I could use prayers that my body will be strong against the taxol so I can receive all of my chemo treatments, and that my nerves will have as little damage as possible. There is power in prayer, and it's important to remember - I'm alive! So come what may with neurothpathy, I am blessed to be alive! :)